It can be really hard to shift a relationship if you feel alone and think your partner is not wanting to do the work…

It’s so easy to resort to anger, frustration and fear and keep nagging and nagging and point out everything they are doing wrong.

I have certainly been caught up in that cycle so many times and it doesn’t feel good.
We can’t want change for our partner more than they want it or are willing to change themselves, that’s true!

But we can absolutely start with making changes for ourselves first, and I have seen this work over and over again.

-When you want to point out their faults, find something to praise them for instead. (I know this may seem impossible but it’s worth giving a go I promise)

-When you want to tell them what to do, let them know you trust them to make a decision or “whatever you think” in a nice voice (not sarcastic, I know we’ve all been there hey

-More than anything, start doing fun things regularly for YOU, change your own state so you came back home feeling uplifted. Less things will bug you then and it rubs off.

I read an amazing book many years ago that I personally refer to over and over and remind myself about when I go down the slippery slope of nagging and criticising, how we deliver a message is often more important than the message itself.